I would class myself as someone who has a deep level of compassion, empathy and understanding when it comes to relating to other people. Most of the time I find myself wanting to be vulnerable, open and giving to others because I can’t see the logic in doing anything less.
This can leave me open to being hurt by people if I didn’t have a strong sense of self.
In my younger years coupled with my previous fear of abandonment (childhood issues) I would always find myself giving too much and not receiving back.
Any therapist would have a field day telling me exactly where I used to go wrong haha! I know now that because I didn’t feel like I was enough for me or the world I would lean into my “go to” which was over giving.
This isn’t healthy and doesn’t come from a place of love, peace or completeness.
As I have grown into myself, deepened my sense of self I have come to understand that even though I may want to be loved or to give so much love not everyone is in that same place.
I have also learnt to take responsibility for what I give out and how I feel. I am the only one who can determine what affects me by how I choose to react.
This has allowed me to be complete within myself, it has stopped me from judging others for thier lack of compassion, empathy and understanding.
I realise that we are not all the same, we do not all perceive the world in the same way and we are here on earth to become better versions of ourselves. This process is a journey and has a different time span for everyone.
Many of us will be in situations and relationships where who we are and what we offer will not always necessarily be matched by others.
What do you therefore do in situations like that?
I for one, have yet to meet another human being like me. I am always on the look out for people with the same depth of love I have in my heart.
I may find them or I may not, this doesn’t mean I cannot continue to be me with people who are not like me.
I rely heavily on my instincts and I try to see the soul of people I interact with.
If they are people with love in thier hearts at thier absolute core I’ll feel it and I’ll allow them into my life, however if they are not love then I just walk on by.
If they need me I will give what I can and not emotionally attach myself to them. Why?
Because it is unnecessary to give a person something they cannot handle or appreciate, it would be like speaking Chinese when they only understand French.
I don’t get upset anymore when people let me down or don’t match what I give because I know that they don’t know any better and my compassion kicks in for them.
So if you are in a situation or relationship with anyone where you don’t get back what you give never for a second blame yourself or feel let down or sad, instead realise that you and the other person are just on different journeys.
Respect who they are, offer no judgement and more importantly allow love, compassion, empathy and understanding to kick in for yourself.
We forget that we are more than capable of being our all and only fears we have learnt over the years come in and make us believe we are not enough.
Some may say being self sufficient and not relying emotionally on others for your well being makes for a sad world but it doesn’t, it makes you open to possibilities and allows you to see the sunny side of life.
That right there my friends is personal peace.
Much love
Sarah Martin xoxo
DOING THE HUMAN THING 