FRANK


Frank was 19 years old when he was handed his 2 day old son and told that the mother of his child had just died of a heroine overdose!


It was 2pm and he himself had just got up from a heavy night of partying with people he had never met. He was still dazed and bruised from all the heroine he had shot up his arms from the past 3 days.

He thanked the woman who brought his son to him. In complete shock and sadness he sat down on the littered floor of his council studio flat, barely holding on to this baby boy, he started to cry and panic. He didn’t know what the hell he was going to do!

What was he Frank a black man with no real family, hardly any money, married to drugs, who hated his own existence was going to do with this baby! 

He spent an hour walking up and down the small studio flat thinking of what to do. He then decided he couldn’t keep this child and would dump the boy outside his nearest A&E. And that was precisely what he did. 

Frank’s life continued at a fast, maddening downward spiral after that. There was a constant abuse of drugs, alcohol and self loathing. Never a day goes by he doesn’t think of his son but he had no way of ever contacting or finding the boy. All He could do was try to forget.
He hit 55 when he found out he had terminal lung cancer and had about a year to live. 

This news shocked him into cleaning up his self abusive act. About 3 months later there was a knock at his door, when he opened the door he was met with a tall, well dressed and anxious black man. For a second he wondered if it was one of those debt collectors he was avoiding.

The man just blurted out “Hi Frank, I am your son” in a somewhat angry but calm tone.


Frank was shocked but the way his life has been going didn’t leave him that surprised. He did hope this day would come but never really imagined it would, afterall nothing else worked out for him in life.


They talked, cried, hugged, shouted and talked some more. Frank broke the news about his illness and Anthony his son decided there and then that his father must come and live with him. So they left and went to Anthony’s 5 bedroom town house in Notting Hill.


The next few weeks were a mixture of sharing stories, sadness, hope, tears and anger. Anthony, his wife and two sons did thier best to just enjoy the last few months they had with him. 

Anthony had so much love for the man who abandoned him and managed to push past it all in order to forgive his father.


Frank on the otherhand become sadder, more depressed and just couldn’t enjoy his family as he had always dreamed he would. 


I understand where Frank is coming from, but he had a choice and he is choosing to see all that was lacking in his life when he had so much to celebrate and enjoy.


My friends life isn’t always fair, intact life can be so cruel that it’ll leave you wondering why you are even alive. It’ll make you question God and allow room for hate, anger and resentment to take you hostage if you allow it to.


Frank would have died alone never knowing his son and his family had Anthony not knocked on his door that day. His exit was inevitable and nothing could have changed that. As heart breaking as it was, this was something he could not escape. 


Frank was given such a gift! The opportunity to be surrounded by love and to experience life on such a high before passing on to the next life, but he could not allow himself to accept his gift and enjoy the last moments of his life.


Frank’s decision to allow his negative perception of all that was missing in his life clouded all the love and happiness that was around him untill the day he left his family.


We all have to face some really tough stuff in life. And at times we almost pretend the tough stuff doesn’t exist because who wants to acknowledge all the Franks of this world. No one wants to admit that life has an underworld which we walk through everyday. But it is a reality and if you take time to talk to people around you and asked them about thier suffering, you will see what I am talking about.


Regardless of the pain and suffering we all have to face in our lives we have a choice to make. We can choose to see the silver lining in all things good or bad.

What other choice do we have, other than choose to suffer some more?!


In my opinion negative situations do eventually equal positive, this I will elaborate more in my book.


Understanding that you can choose to look at something differently or see the benefits that could be there is the difference between a life of heavy emotional and mental torture or one of joy and peace.


Your perception is everything. We tend to forget all the good we have going on in our lives and focus too much on what we don’t have. This can lead to missing the bigger picture and not seeing what you are blessed with.


So please take time out to see all the blessings you have right now. Don’t wait till it’s too late.


Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 



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MANIFEST WITH NO 


We all know that awful feeling, you know the disappointed why me feeling when we are told no for things we really want.


Once we get past it, after getting mad or feeling sorry for ourselves we almost always thank God we didn’t get what we wanted.


I can personally say that I have experienced it a few times in my life and when I look back, wow I am grateful it didn’t work out.


When we are not living our truth or when we are not on our correct paths we need to be brought back in line, things not working out is exactly what helps us.

But because we think we don’t matter as much or that we know better than the universe or God we think we can push till we get what we want, even when it is to our own detriment. 


I’ve said this before, not everything we want we actually need.

Most human beings tend to live in fear or in lack because of life’s constant disappointments, and it makes sense to worry or think you need to push so hard for things.

But we don’t have to push. When we are on the right path things happen easily and doors open without us having to feel afraid or anxious.


This doesn’t mean we don’t have to work hard for the things we want in life. It means we need to work hard towards the things we actually need and that are in line with our unique design. When it’s right working hard for it makes it all worth it. Without the hard work we cannot actually push the good things in our lives to the fishing line.


When we are working hard for the wrong thing being told NO is the right answer.


Being told no is not bad, it is your saviour, it is your spirit guide!

If you respect it, honour it and show it gratitude you will see that it was the best thing that ever happened to you.


They say necessity is the mother of invention, so when you are not really sure what you want in life or who you are, you will naturally go for things you think you want. It’s almost like a process of elimination. 

As you go for what you think you need and you face adversity or road blocks or people telling you NO, it’s the universe’s way of closing the wrong path so you can look for or see the correct path.


Through necessity you will think of another way and if you believe in yourself and mother nature to look after your well being you will be able to see the signs that illuminate your correct path. With this you can manifest what you actually need. 


You must be true to yourself, you cannot hide from yourself or your destiny. It will find you at some point. 

How long and how painful the journey to your truth becomes is totally up to you and how in touch you are with yourself.


At every given junction in your life where you need to make a decision there will be two outcomes. Either it is the correct path therefore things go smoothly or it isn’t and you get kickbacks. 


If you can see that those kickbacks are your guide you will not get stressed out or feel worthless or whatever negative emotion you choose to hang on to.

You will see that someone up there is looking out for you.


You see you really matter in this world, your journey and existence isn’t a mistake.


The universe is just waiting for you to step up to yourself so it can deliver all you need to be you.


Not being true to you or not being 100% you means the universe needs to open your eyes so you can see and NO is your medicine.


Next time it doesn’t happen for you, know it is because better is coming your way.

Don’t give up on yourself, just adjust your perceptive and keep going.


You will eventually find your way.


Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

HOW TO DEAL WITH LONELINESS 


We all have this desire to be needed, wanted, adored and loved by other people.

It’s natural and how most of us were brought up. We had/have the love, companionship and care from our parents or care givers, it’s what we know. 
We are built to love, give love and be with other people.

Sometimes we find ourselves alone and even when we are surrounded by our partners, family or friends it just doesn’t seem enough and we still feel so alone.
I used to wonder how I can be in a world filled with millions of people yet feel so alone.

And for those those who are single, being alone or feeling lonely can seem so real and obvious that we can struggle to pacify this feeling.

I have been single for nearly 3 years now following an 18 year relationship with the father of my children. 
It has been one hell of a healing, self discovery and rebuilding journey. It hasn’t been easy and even though I have people around me there always seems to be this void I can’t seem to fill. 
Either the people around me are not right or I just can’t seem to connect, recharge or feel less lonely.

So there have been times when I have chosen to stay at home by myself rather than go out and mingle. Clearly there is something specific I am looking for but every time I have looked or tried it just doesn’t seem to be right or happen.

Up until yesterday day, I went out of my way to find this thing so that I could plug this hole in my being I seem to carry around all the time. 
I told myself I have to find it, that I am living in the moment and enjoying all life has to offer but each time I come back to my bed and before I go to sleep at night, I’ll feel this deep sense of loneliness.

Last night I meditated on it all, I wanted to find the answer to why I was feeling lonely and why the people around me were not enough.
I realised that first of all, 90% of the people I have allowed into my life have no business being there, that all the actions I have been taking to that very moment were not serving me in the way I expected it to and what I needed more than anything in this world was me.

I have mentioned this needing me in previous quotes or blogs but I don’t think I really submitted to myself in the way I needed to.

There was a part of me still shouting into the universe like a toddler and asking for things I didn’t need. The one thing that I needed badly was me.


You know what the universe did? It made sure that I felt so lonely at that moment that I become frustrated with it all and went inwards to find the answer.

I realise that when you feel lonely and need others to feel alive, it is just a cry for yourself.
No one can ever fill the void or make you feel complete or less lonely. NO ONE!
You have to step up to the plate and be your everything. You need to love you more than you have ever loved you before.

All the love, care, attention, praise, adoration and friendship you badly want to give and receive from others is what your being needs you to give it right now.

It also means making sure that your actions into the world are for the right reasons and to please you and no one else.

How many times have we done things because we didn’t want to do it alone or because we didn’t feel strong enough to just be by ourselves?
I can certainly count a number of times I have compromised by integrity to feed this void. And once it’s done and you’re back by yourself you feel it even deeper than before.
I would then feel sad, message Abi  (my bestie) to tell her, then I would wonder why it’s like this for me and wish God could come save me from this despair.

In a perfect world it would be so nice for someone to come save me from it all, but I know full well it would be the wrong person, and the void would still be there.

I realise that until I can be locked into myself and sit in my being like a Queen on my throne, I will never be truly happy.

So since last night I examined every single relationship with family, friends and acquaintances. I checked which of them I was dealing with from a place of completeness and love, and which were from a place of lack or loneliness. 
The ones which were born from a place of lack are no longer part of my life. I have emotionally and mentally detached from them and I send all of them good wishes. 
The small group of people who I can feed light and who underpin the love and completeness side of me I will keep close to my heart.

I cannot tell you how refreshed I feel today. It feels like I have created a clear line in my life on what will fuel my actions going forward.

I don’t feel this deep loneliness anymore and I have been looking forward to my life from this new perspective. I can’t wait to just be. So far it has been great.

Should I feel lonely in the future I will love and care for myself more. 

I know now that self love and care is what I need badly and the feeling of loneliness is just a reminder to top up some more.

I also know I am not the only one who felt like this so I want you to know you are not alone and the reason you can’t seem to find anyone to make you feel complete is because your soul is waiting for you to step up. So step up and love you.


If I can do it so can you and I am here if you want to talk about it or help in anyway. Sharing is caring, hence why I write 🙂

Please make sure you subscribe to my mailing list to get my blogs by email so you never miss one.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo  

YOU WON’T LIKE IT BUT IT’S WHAT YOU NEED 



Ever wonder why sometimes you don’t get what you badly want?


Well it’s because it’s either not the right time or you do not need it. Having it would not serve you in the long run.


Not everything we think we want we actually need but because we are so absorbed in not living our truth, we do all we can to avoid ourselves. We don’t listen to the sensible voice within.


It comes down to knowing and trusting that there is in fact a higher purpose and meaning to your life and existence.

If you believed that the universe has your back, that everything that happens in your life has meaning and is for your benefit in the long run, you’ll be able to relax a little more when shit doesn’t go your way.


I always say, if it doesn’t happen then it’s a blessing, because it makes way for what should happen.


I have experienced me pushing for things that are in alignment with what I call the little me (aka me ego). The little me lives in lack, fear and uncertainty. He or she doesn’t trust life and think it needs to make things happen in order to feel happiness. 

Most people on this planet run thier lives from the needs of thier little me.

I have pushed and been pissed off as to why it isn’t happening, then I feel sorry for myself and ask why me, oh why me.

I have myself a nice pitty party and I go and let little me do what she wants lol.


While all this is happening, big me (aka my higher self, My soul) is watching like a parent and trying to get little me to fall in line with the grand plan. Big me knows what you need, how you should act, how you should trust, how you should live for you and how you must stand together.

If you allows your little me to listen to your big me, your life would feel like the footing of Everest, grounded and strong and purposes but still.


We are like lost children playing adult all the time, with out melt downs and random actions that serve no one really but to make us more miserable. All because we are afraid to trust life fully.  We think we know better.


So I ask you and me this! 

Who are you living for? 

Who are you taking those actions for? 

Who are you needing that for?


If it isn’t your big me or your higher self or to serve the grand plan of your life then you are not living for you. Instead you are living to feed little me’s BIG appetite for wanting to live in a state of fear and uncertainty.


I find myself allowing my little me to do too much. That little ego is so all over the place it makes me dizzy thinking about it, time to put her in check!! 


But not everyone has been blessed with a form of rebirth where they can see the little me inside them and allow the big me to take charge and live a life of purpose. This gift is one that life gives you when you are ready for it.


So what do you do to put your little me in check?


You must trust that your life is bigger than any shit that happens. You have to realise that the shit that happens is for a good reasons and just trust that the universe knows what it is doing. 

You must try to get in touch with your soul and allow it to do more for you.

You can do this by reading lots of books. The best one for this called The Seat Of The Soul by Gary Zukav here is a link for you Click here.


Get it and read it!!!


Once you can see that you are bigger than any problem you’ll be able to accept them with grace and thank the universe for removing what you don’t need to make way for what you do need.


So live for you, your truth, your LIFE. Don’t walk down a path that serves your ego aka little me.


Much love 


Sarah Martin xoxo 

FINDING THE GOOD IN IT

Life wouldn’t be life as we know it if we didn’t have to face challenges everyday. 
Some people’s challenges are far more difficult than others but we usually get through it and live to repeat it all over again another day.

The emotions or memories that are left once you get through the challenge can sometimes linger to then dictate your future actions if you allow it. I am certain you know what I mean.

I recently had an experience that was challenging, after it passed I had to face it again this week. I think I did great but the challenge was still the same and to be honest completely unessesary for me to experience. But I needed it and saw this once I chose to look at it positively.

So as I sat there pondering the purpose of this experience, I thought to myself “How would my life be any different had I not gone through that experience?”
I realised that it didn’t really make any difference to my life, it was inconvenient but that the good thing that came from it was me becoming stronger.
I was able to face it again and not marry the experience.

I could have easily attached myself to the bad parts of it all and made it into some drama but I chose to see the upside. It made be stronger and for that I am grateful.
With this in mind I emotionally moved on and fed my soul a little more in a positive way.

Whether we want to admit it or not it is so easy to see the negative in things because we may be used to shit going wrong but they usually happen that way to serve our greater goals in life.

We may want something to happen for us in life now but what we forget is that we may not be prepared or equipped to appreciate what we want so badly. Therefore experiences that teach us something prepares us for what we really want.
Looking at it this way makes life much more purposeful and allows us to find the good in everything and in all situations.

Yes I know it’s not easy but what other choice do you have, other than feeling miserable or hard done by. Whatever happened was going to happen anyway so might as well get something out of it in a positive way.

So don’t be too quick to allow your fears to turn you into a victim, instead own them and try as hard as you can to find the upside in them.

If you look hard enough you’ll see it. How long it takes for you to get to that place of peace is up to you and depends on how quickly you can rise above the situation to gather yourself in order to see it all for what it is.

Trust your life path, trust yourself. You can do it!

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

TAKE OFF THE MASK

Perhaps one of the most courageous things we would ever need to do as human beings is to reveal the face behind the mask we have spent our whole lives hiding behind.
We have spent most of our lives trying to be everything but who we really are, so much so that we spend our time portraying the personilty we have created and never fully knowing what or who we are!

We probably get glimpses when we are alone or when we put our true needs before others but because we don’t do it often we can end up being seen as selfish.

We all know deep down what we want, but because we have not practiced being truly who we are without fear underlining our actions we get it wrong when we do try.

It’s insane yes but we do it all the time.

I was hanging out with a friend and this friend is very hospitable, they pretty much make sure they take care of me while I stay with them. I am so used to doing for others and never really putting myself first that it was strange for me to just receive what they were offering.
It made me feel as though my company and my presence was not enough.

This is my issue and not thiers, and because I didn’t feel I was enough I had to try to do something to make myself feel better for just being there. I offer to clean or cook but they tell me no, that I don’t have to, I should just relax.
We then got into an argument because I was upset that they wouldn’t let me do something to say thanks. Thier argument was you don’t have to, they wanted me to do it because I really wanted to do, and not for them or for the sake of doing.
Anyway when I left them and got back into my space I thought long and hard about why I felt the need to do something when deep down it wasn’t coming from the place of truly giving for thier benefit but instead to make me feel better about taking from them.

I realised I just don’t know how to be completely me without my personality or up bringing coming into play. Why couldn’t I just relax and just receive without feeling like I am being selfish.

Then I realised that perhaps I just don’t know how receive without feeling enough. I realised I needed to stop pussy footing around my needs and just enjoy life and be me.

I have built walls and filters and anything else I can find to be what society wants me to be so that I can be accepted always. I didn’t do it on purpose but it’s something that kicks in when I am in social situations and it links to my past.

This experience really woke me up and I know now that the real me is so far buried deep inside that I don’t even know who she is, but I want that me to be on the forefront of my actions at all given times.

I want to use every opportunity to be raw, brave, courageously and unapologetically me without fear of feeling like I am not doing enough.
It takes a huge shift in perspective and understanding the difference between selfcare and self importance.

We are all important and we don’t need to do more than we already do in order to feel like we matter or that we are enough.

When your actions are driven from a place of lack you are feeding the negative energies in your self and space. But if you can take actions from a place of completeness and love you are feeding all the positive energies.

This isn’t easy at all! And it’ll require you to really be honest with yourself and everyone around you. But by being honest you can see or work out which kinds of people and situations are actually good for you.

If you live from the back of your mask you will never ever be able to work within the truth of your wants and needs or see what is right for you because it is all filtered.

So take off the mask, know that you will royally mess up as you do in the beginning because you are now trying to get to know the person behind the mask. Like a child trying to walk you will fall a few times but you will get the hang of it. And you need to hold onto the goodness in your heart and your true intention. Even when things go wrong you will know deep down your intentions were from a good place. You then become more brave and start being more true to all.

It’s not easy but it’s worth it.

Start asking yourself why to all the things you do and get to the absolute truth of your actions or thoughts. You have more to gain than lose.

Be brave and let you and world see the magnificent being that hides behind your personal masks.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

DON’T BECOME THE PROBLEM

Big ones, small ones, life threatening ones, toe banging ones, money ones, relationship ones, basically all of them!

What am I talking about? Well I am referring to issues, problems and all of life’s headaches,  which are part of our experience here on earth  (I say here on earth like we have a choice on which planet to live on hahaha).
We can’t escape them, we can’t avoid them and we always have to deal with them no matter what, but we don’t have to become them.

I had an issue last night! I went out clubbing by myself for the first time ever and as soon as I walked in the place who do I see?
My ex situationship! Ugh like can a girl just go out without bumping into the guy who was one of her
lessons? Apparently not!

I was polite, said hi and walked away using my standard stay blessed line. I looked banging so it was nice to see his “wow you look amazing face” when he saw me.
A part of me was thrilled to see the look on his face even though he really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
I slowly started to attach myself to the situation, my mind went back to the past and started to let flashbacks from back then creep into my night.

I did end up having a great night but it could have been better had I just forgotten all about him being in the same place. I wasn’t allowing myself to have as much fun as I could have done had he not been there. But I don’t regret anything so it’s okay!

This situation made me realise even more than before that we will always face challenges and they will test you on various levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. 

They won’t always be easy BUT you don’t have to wear the situation.
You don’t have to carry the problem.
You don’t have to give the issues life beyond being aware of thier existence and you certainly don’t have to become them.
You have the power of choice on your side, it’s your super power. How lucky are we to be able to choose? Lucky Yes!!!!

It’s okay to deal with shit without marrying it. And trust me you will without a doubt initially start to become the problem, however if you are aware that you are bigger than any experience and it’s not you, you can detach from it and move on with your life.

Detaching doesn’t mean brushing it under the carpet, it means seeing it for what it is. It takes practice, so start with the little things and work your way up to bigger issues.

When a problem arises, just for one second try to stop, pay attention to how you are feeling and remind yourself that you are not the issue and you don’t have to become it. See it for what it is, take from it what it was brought into your life for and let it go.
All problems and issues are there to teach you something and in it will be a special gift. 

They do sometimes hurt and they do sometimes leave scars but all things heal with time and become stronger.

So my darling reader, don’t attach yourself to something that is here to serve you.

You are bigger than all of it!!!

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo