how to

HOW TO MAKE HEALTHY DECISIONS 

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

Oh the many many times we have all made stupid decisions we wished we could go back in time to correct.
From the little ones to major decisions we have all been there!

I have spent some time in the past going over some of my actions and decisions trying to work out what formula I could use to ensure I make better decisions in future.

I have looked at all the “bad” decisions I made and I realised that those bad ones were always from a place of lack or fear. All the ones that I deemed as good and healthy ones were from a place of love.

Using these two headlines as the basis of my decision making has helped me make better decisions and choices.

When you are in lack, feel like you are not enough or are in fear or shame you tend to make desperate and bad decisions.
Noticing it and making note of this can really help you make healthy love based decisions.

Think back to some of your bad decisions and try to remember how you were feeling. Were you anxious? Felt like you were loosing out or felt you were not enough or angry? Well those feelings of lack push you to make bad decisions if you give into them.
Now do the same thing with good decisions. You’ll find you were happy, centred, and held on to your moral code. You felt safe and was able to make a very healthy and good decision.

So going forward how do you make good and healthy decisions?

Well ask yourself this question!
What am I feeling? If you feel desperate, scared, not enough or ashamed or angry then it’s likely you will be driving your decision from a place of fear, and you’ll end up making an unhealthy decision.

If you feel love for yourself, you feel like you are worthy, enough and believe in you, then this state will drive a healthy and good decision.

It’s about really weighing up the way you feel before making that decision. If it sits in the fear category and will be driven from a place of lack then just take some time out to balance yourself back to feeling love or completeness before proceeding.

Balancing yourself means taking time to realise that you are enough. You really are more than enough and have nothing to prove to anyone. You will therefore not allow any negative emotion to drive your next step.

Yes I know it is not easy but life isn’t easy and we all have hard decisions to make at every turn. But you have the power to take full conscious responsibility for your actions and in turn feel great about them.

I do have to say that even though it is very important to make healthy and good decisions where you can there really isn’t a wrong way to do life, therefore even when we make bad decisions good does come from it. I’ll touch on this more in my book  (coming out soon).

So for now do your best to do good by you and if you are stuck on making any decision use my formula and see if it helps.

I wish you a great life and one driven from a place of love rather than fear.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

HOW TO CHOOSE HAPPINESS 

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

​I still vividly rememeber the day I realised that I could choose a happy state whenever I wanted to. Even when everything is making it difficult, I could still choose.

Let me take you back to that day.
It was about a year ago now, I was in the swimming pool showers and I got some not so great news which really got me down.
I was finding it hard to concentrate, to stay present or connected to the people around me. I felt tormented that very moment.

I remember being so frustrated that I was so sad, I hated it and wanted it to change.
I wanted to feel anything but deep sorrow.

As I stood there with the hot shower pouring down my head (which was nice), I remembered that I am not my thoughts, that I am bigger than what I was feeling and it hit me BAM!!!!!

I said to myself I choose happiness,
I. CHOOSE. HAPPINESS. As I said it over and over I was realising the true power and meaning of those three words.

I was so present and felt every single word so deeply that I understood what it meant.
I realised that despite everything that was going on I can choose how I feel if I really really wanted to.
I have that power and I can choose.

Within minutes after repeating the 3 words over and over again I felt better. My mind shifted from the problems that I could do nothing about and into the now.
I chose me, I chose how I wanted to feel and I held onto that.

Now I know full well that it is easier said than done and if someone had told me to choose happiness over attaching myself to whatever was bothering me, I would have said I can’t so leave me alone.
When you use the words I can’t do it, this is also a choice. It’s probably the easier choice because you’re already in the space you don’t want to be in.

Ever see a kid cry or scream I can’t over and over again when you know they are more than capable of doing something you know they can do? That in simple terms is what it’s like when you say I can’t. Of course you can, you just have to choose to.
Trust me I know full well that it is easier to wallow in all your issues or to allow them to become you but once you make the choice to feel different you’ll wonder why you didn’t choose differently sooner. But there are gold nuggets to be claimed from what we call negative states like sadness but that’s for another day, so don’t beat yourself up either.

The thing is I fully understand why we become our problems and it really takes some extreme realisations to wake up to yourself and realise that you really are bigger than any problem in life. It helps to understand this so that it can become easier for you.

I highly recommend that you read a book by Ekhart Tolle called The Power Of Now.
This book change my whole life and I will do a blog post on it another time. For now please buy it either in hard copy or audio and absorb it thoroughly. It’ll really make you see that you are not your thoughts.

Understanding that you are not your thoughts changes EVERYTHING!

Now I have to say that when I am close to or on my period, my emotions can be all over the place. It is insane how I can be perfectly fine most of the month and for a week it’s just madness.
This time is where I can struggle most with negative emotions or things can get too much for me. But exercising the power of choice whenever I feel off has been a life saver, so I really get to practice this a lot each month hahaha! 

It means being present, connected to who you are, taking time out to meditate and centre yourself and choosing how you feel.

I refuse to allow my brain to over dramatize things to the point I can’t function or just get on with my day. Hell no!!!

I. Choose. Happiness. These 3 words when realised can change your whole life. So try it and see.

If you have any questions about it feel free to message me ❤

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

THE JOURNEY IS THE EXPERIENCE!

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

I am sure we all know the quote, “the journey is the destination” and that you have to focus on the end goal in order to make it etc. 

And yes it makes perfect sense to have a destination in mind when embarking on any journey, but the whole process shouldn’t be dismissed.

Most people are heavily focused on making it to the end that the parts in between are usually wished away, but there is so much to enjoy about the in between.

If we are too busy focusing on the end we forget to really get into the now.
Most of the time you get to the end and wish you could go back and enjoy the process. The amount of times I have heard people say this is countless.

I used to be the person who never really enjoyed the moment and I was always looking ahead for the next thing. When I look back it was exhausting, I was disconnected from my real wants and needs. Being in that head space was unnecessary lol!

I learnt how to slow down and listen to myself, to pay attention to the little things and enjoy them all. I cannot tell you the copious amounts of gifts that are in front of you if you stop and paid attention to them in order receive them.
You can with conscious effort choose to be present and try to enjoy it all.

The journey isn’t the destination but rather the experience. The experience is life, so enjoy it and don’t rush it through.

Let’s Make the world a better place by being the best you always!

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo
 

AT SOME POINT, YOU NEED TO SHOW UP FOR YOU!

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

Two weeks ago I was supposed to start my healthy diet and go to the gym at least 5 times a week.
I wanted to look and feel great before the end of the year, be in a great place for 2018 and be on track to hit my fitness goals by 3rd of April which is my birthday.

But, it has not panned out that way and I have allowed myself to be distracted by various things that are really not important, and I have made excuses as to why I couldn’t or can’t comit to my dream!

At some point in our lives we need to really show up for ourselves and do what is really right for us. There is only so much chasing your tail and expecting different results that can take place before you wake the fuck up.
At some point you really really have to choose you, period! No excuses, no choosing others! Just you!

So here I am writing about my failure to comit to what my soul wishes for my life  (I say soul because she always knows what’s best for me if only I listen lol) but what am I going to do about it?

There are just over 7 weeks left till the end of the year and I’ve decided that my wish to hit my fitness goal is far too important for my lack of commitment and I plan to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

I think in order to succeed you need to work out what you need to make it happen. In my case even though I hate planning I believe that by planning ahead and getting all the things I need in place it’ll help me succeed.
Things like fruit and veg for my morning juicing should be available the day before, preparing healthy lunches and dinners ahead of being hungry. Even making time in my morning for mediating on my fitness goals. I need to make sure I take this as seriously as I do when it comes to taking care of my kids.
I need to ensure I realise how important I am to myself and what it’ll mean to hit my goals.

I have read so many books on how to manifest your life or how you can make your wishes fulfilled with the power of your mind. They all use imagination and visualisation and belief to “manifest”.
I want to apply these same methods to something I am working for physically. So combing the mental and physical I think it’ll make a difference for me.
I want to visualise what I will eat all day, what excersie I will do each day and feel it all before I actually get out of bed. I want to connect with my mission before I do it. And it’ll only take me 5 to 10 mins which is nothing in 24 hrs.

This is just my way and what I need to really make this happen. I know myself and I know my pitfalls so I think doing it this way will help me succeed more.

Why am I all of a sudden ready to do this? Well I’ve just had enough of making excuses and I know full well that my life will never change for the better if I can’t show up for myself in ways that really matter to my true self.

I know I’ll keep making the same old mistakes if I don’t show up for myself and stand by me.
I know don’t want to hit 3rd of April and not have made any significant progress, I am sure it’ll destroy me mentally.

I need this and I want this so I’m doing this.

This goes to show that when you are ready for something you will make it happen so if you’re not able to find motivation to get up, know that after some serious chasing of tail, you’ll eventually get tired and take action.

Show up for yourself because you are worth it.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

Being Sure About Yourself 

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

I was scrolling through instagtam and saw a video of an oreo keebab being dipped in some chocolate sauce and I remembered this one time maybe two years ago when I would have reposted that video with the caption #Mood.
I then realised how far removed that was from who I am and how far I have come in my self discovery journey.
It made me feel grateful that I am far more self assured than I ever was and look forward to being more me 🙂

It made me think about how being self assured isn’t something that just happens like that or by will.
It takes time and trials and errors to discover who you really are, to find your true voice and to be completely your authentic self.

How therefore does someone go about being self assured?

There isn’t an easy way however if you can try to stop following the masses and spend time discovering what you really like and dislike, that may help you.

It’s easy to follow the crowd and that’s not a bad thing contrary to popular belief. It’s what you know now and eventually as time passes you get to know who you really are.
There are many reasons why we don’t become instantly self assured from when we can make our own decisions in life.
But think about it most of your life choices from birth to probably 18/20 was decided or influenced by your parents or family or care givers.
By the time you are old enough to get on with it, you’ll be making decisions based on your care givers code for life. If you are lucky they fall in line with who you are and if not, you get the joy of discovering who you are.
Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes not.

So don’t be hard on yourself, just be as much you as you can and find things you truly love and that make your heart flutter with joy.
Keep doing those and work on being a better version of you via reading books or some form of therapy.
Continuously feeding your mind with new information and experiences helps you to know what you don’t want so you can figure out what you do want.

I guess what I am trying to say is time and life will help you with this, if you can be brave enough to trust your journey.

A time will come when you will feel so proud of your choices and decision.

Being self assured is great and allows you to trust yourself.

Definitely something worth working towards.

Much love

Sarah Martin xoxo 

Is what you are doing today getting you closer to what you want tomorrow?

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

This is one of those so called motivational blurb they like to throw at anyone who isn’t moving forward at a pace that is acceptable by society’s standards.

Well let’s examine it shall we!

I know that people can live a self fulfilling profecy of self sabotage and go round and round in circles, and never really getting anywhere. First of all anywhere is somwhere, you are flowing with time and that alone is you moving forward.
You may not be hitting goals that have nothing to do with your true purpose or who you really are but that’s a good thing! Who wants to fight for something they don’t really want!

There is something to be gained from
procrastination and self sabotage, and because this kind of behaviour is seen as destructive the gift that can come from it is usually missed. And instead we spend copious amounts of time beating ourselves up for not being like those who preach!

We human beings have this notion that everything in life should be perfect, nothing should ever hurt or break and we should be happy all the time. That isn’t what life is about.
That is the problem, we have a dysfunctional view of what life should be like. This comes from the people making money off your delusion. It’s not your fault. Selling instant happiness is a big money maker.

Nature actually tells us the truth about what life should be like, but we are so far removed and out of tune to see it. 

Instead we have TV and social media to tell us what to expect lol!
Look at the environment you live in, think about cloudy and rainy days and the benefits they offer.
If we wanted hot sunny days aka happiness all the time then there would never be any rain and nothing would ever grow. The planet would die! See my point about life?

The bad things are needed for growth, actually they are essential. Once we understand that and accept it as much as we accept that the world spins round the sun we can begin to look at life differently and for what it is.

Sometimes you actually need to be self destructive because you’ve picked up awful habits that no longer serve you which needs to be expelled. 
An example of the benefits of self sabotage is someone who doesn’t love themsleves and gets into a relationship only to bring all that baggage with them expecting sunny results. If they remain the self loathing person they are, they don’t grow in themselves to shed the bad habits and cannot move forward in life so they becomes miserable while dragging everyone else down with them. 
Because of their self sabotaging behaviour they do what comes naturally and somehow fuck it all up and end up alone or rejected.

The pain of rejection allows them to ask the question why can’t I be loved? Why doesn’t anyone want me or keep me or or or.
Self reflection kicks in and if they are lucky on that very occasion they learn that they are enough, they need to love themsleves in order to recognise and give healthy love.

Each experiences which ends in pain helps to crack open the shell of the ego you’ve buried your soul under. As you learn and grow, the lessons change and you become more you 🙂

There is no perfect scenario in life and beating yourself up or judging yourself for not doing the things you need today in order to serve your future self is pointless.
You will do what is necessary for you today based on the tools you have at your disposal today!

So let the people who have it figured out say what they want about not being motivated or not moving forward. They don’t see the beauty of your journey and they don’t need to, that’s the point! This is your journey and no one else’s. 

So next time you feel like beating yourself up don’t! Instead find meaning and understanding in where you are right now and just do what feels right.

Funny enough life has a funny way of motivating you in the direction you need to go in. Trust that!

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

To Give And Not Get Back!

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

I would class myself as someone who has a deep level of compassion, empathy and understanding when it comes to relating to other people. Most of the time I find myself wanting to be vulnerable, open and giving to others because I can’t see the logic in doing anything less.

This can leave me open to being hurt by people if I didn’t have a strong sense of self.
In my younger years coupled with my previous fear of abandonment (childhood issues) I would always find myself giving too much and not receiving back.
Any therapist would have a field day telling me exactly where I used to go wrong haha! I know now that because I didn’t feel like I was enough for me or the world I would lean into my “go to” which was over giving.

This isn’t healthy and doesn’t come from a place of love, peace or completeness.
As I have grown into myself, deepened my sense of self I have come to understand that even though I may want to be loved or to give so much love not everyone is in that same place.
I have also learnt to take responsibility for what I give out and how I feel. I am the only one who can determine what affects me by how I choose to react.

This has allowed me to be complete within myself, it has stopped me from judging others for thier lack of compassion, empathy and understanding.
I realise that we are not all the same, we do not all perceive the world in the same way and we are here on earth to become better versions of ourselves. This process is a journey and has a different time span for everyone.

Many of us will be in situations and relationships where who we are and what we offer will not always necessarily be matched by others.
What do you therefore do in situations like that?

I for one, have yet to meet another human being like me. I am always on the look out for people with the same depth of love I have in my heart.
I may find them or I may not, this doesn’t mean I cannot continue to be me with people who are not like me.
I rely heavily on my instincts and I try to see the soul of people I interact with.
If they are people with love in thier hearts at thier absolute core I’ll feel it and I’ll allow them into my life, however if they are not love then I just walk on by.
If they need me I will give what I can and not emotionally attach myself to them. Why?
Because it is unnecessary to give a person something they cannot handle or appreciate, it would be like speaking Chinese when they only understand French.

I don’t get upset anymore when people let me down or don’t match what I give because I know that they don’t know any better and my compassion kicks in for them.

So if you are in a situation or relationship with anyone where you don’t get back what you give never for a second blame yourself or feel let down or sad, instead realise that you and the other person are just on different journeys.
Respect who they are, offer no judgement and more importantly allow love, compassion, empathy and understanding to kick in for yourself.

We forget that we are more than capable of being our all and only fears we have learnt over the years come in and make us believe we are not enough.

Some may say being self sufficient and not relying emotionally on others for your well being makes for a sad world but it doesn’t, it makes you open to possibilities and allows you to see the sunny side of life.

That right there my friends is personal peace.

Much love

Sarah Martin xoxo

How To Be Successful

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

“Successful People”
I love how so many posts and quotes go on about what successful people do and how to become successful. I love it as much as I would love to sit on a chair covered in broken shards of glass.
Everyone is successful on some level or another and there is no true blue print on how to become successful. 

Afterall what success really means to each and everyone one of us is different, as it should be. And don’t forget that, the mere fact that you are well, sane and are even alive is an achievement!
Each and every person is unique and special in their own way, therefore to spend one’s life trying to imitate the life or success of another is futile and very exhausting.

Sure by all means be inspired by seeing another person be in line with thier calling but relax and know you have it too. You have all it takes to be successful in YOUR OWN WAY!
So don’t beat yourself up or believe you must follow someone’s blue print for success.

Instead focus on being as much you as you can at any given moment:)
Make your own success blue print for just you and inspire others to be free ❤

What will it take? Ass or Boobs?

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

These days it feels like unless you have your ass, boobs, abs or torso out when talking about serious issues then no one will take notice of what you’re saying because apparently we live in a superficial world or as I call it living with visual dickheads.
But we are all on some level aroused by vision before substance just because it’s the way we are built but it doesn’t mean we have to be shallow about it all.

Right so someone I know who has put a lot of effort into making a video about animal cruelty got very annoyed that after putting in so much effort into making the video, none of the Facebook friends paid any attention and she stated that she is sure if she had her body out and slapped on a heap of makeup then perhaps people would pay her efforts more attention.
The sad truth is I am sure that she is right on some level but just like her I am sad that in order to effectively share your craft to the masses in this social media world you’re made to feel like unless you’re really selling it with a side of sex appeal then no one will listen.

But I also have to disagree with that train of thought and point out that there are many men and women who are doing great things in this world without having to use sex appeal to succeed. Now I am not saying don’t do it but that if you don’t wish to then don’t feel you have to.

You can be heard and seen by the masses if you allow your inner light to shine. By doing so you will actually attract the very people who will understand what you’re trying to achieve and who are more likely to suport it.
Let’s be honest you cannot sell a diamond in a coal market which is what you’ll be trying to do by wanting the masses who are superficial to partake on your endeavours, they don’t care!
Not because they don’t have a heart or wish to care but because they are lost within their pain and their ego is running the show.

The ego’s only purpose in life is to be fed by praise, likes and whatever else it needs to feel inflated. Now let me be clear I am by no means bashing superficial people but instead I am saying it’s just the way it is and until they wake up in their own time they have the right to make themselves happy in whatever means available to them. (I will touch on this another time).

So if you are trying to push a serious and worldly topic on people who are self absorbed it’s not going to happen and by feeling the need to sell it to them by packaging it with some sex appeal isn’t really going to help your cause.
Your body will be admired and you’ll get many likes for the wrong reasons.

Therefore you do not have to compromise your  moral code in order to sell your message to the wrong crowd. It defeats the purpose and you’ll be wasting your time.
Instead tune in with your authentic self and do whatever it is that you wish to do for yourself more than anyone else and you’ll find the right audience.

Before you know it you’ll be selling your diamonds in a diamond market where it’ll be appreciated. This analogy applies to all aspects of life. #KnowYourAudience 

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo