FROM ANXIETY TO FEARLESSNESS 

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

We have all been in that place! You know the one where it feels like you just want to hide away from the world and tuck yourself under your bed in the tightest bundle you can pull together.
And while you try to hold yourself together it feels like your stomach is like freshly made jelly that hasn’t been set yet and has a constant pouring of warm water just to keep everything all over the place.

There is no feeling like anxiety laced with this fear you don’t even understand or can pin point. But oh you feel it so well and it knows you so well.

A constant state of anxiety used to be my bread and butter in terms of emotions. I used to wake up with an impending sense of doom and uncertainty and go to sleep with its arms wrapped around me like the father I always needed. I never knew why but I understand it better now  (that is for another day).

These days I wake up free and I feel more solid in myself but there are times when things will happen or I have to put my feelings out there and become vulnerable that the jelly belly comes back with a nice jug of hot water.
Where I used to want to hide I have learnt how to allow it space within me to exist and for it to teach me or give me some wisdom. I don’t run from it and I don’t disrespect it by wishing it away. I embrace it and it eventually does what it came to me for and leaves me with strengt I needed to be more fearless.

Everyone has the ability to be fearless and I started to think about what it meant for me.
There are situations where I will be so fearless it leaves people wishing they were as fearless as I am but there are some that make me feel like a 4 year old.

I realised following on from my blog post about self belief yesterday that in order to become fearless you must believe in yourself.
It seems self belief is becoming my newly appointed guardian and I am loving how much it touches every part of our lives.

Anxiety is a natural emotion and there will always be situations that will leave you feeling a little off but believing in yourself, respecting your emotions and standing by your existence will produce fearlessness in your being to trust yourself to march forward.

Understanding it, embracing it, listening to it and using whatever you learn from it makes you more fearless and more you.

No one can hold you back. No one can shut you up. No one can dictate your worth. No one can make you feel anything less than you desire. You choose, so choose you with warts, anxiety, fears and all and allow it all to make you into the beast of a person you know you are.

It’s all up to you. Don’t run from yourself, you are already fearless, you just have to see it.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

WHY YOU SHOULD BELIEVE IN YOU!

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Omg I had a wow moment today!
I realised today that despite all the gifts that God has given me I don’t actually fully 100% believe in myself like I need to.
I thought I did but not until some recent events made me question why, who, what and where when it came to my goals.

This isn’t something easy to admit but it’s the truth, I am happy to explore it and sort it out once and for all.

Just the realization that I don’t really believe in myself when it really counts, when I need to shine, when I need to claim my power or when I need to be unapologetically me has changed my life. My mind as expanded to really explore the fundamental need to believe in myself.

I always thought that the reason I didn’t really succeed in being the person I know I am destined to be was because I didn’t know what I wanted. I felt that the key to success is knowing what you want. Now don’t get me wrong it is vital that you know what you want but now I realise that this comes after self belief. 

If you don’t believe in yourself in an obnoxious way then how can you trust yourself to figure out what you want? Because everything you may think you want you’ll end up doubting and you’ll over think it and not stand by you!
 
Believing in yourself allows you to come up with an idea and run with it without over questioning yourself or thinking that perhaps you need to do more in order for it to be banging! You’ll end up like me forever chasing yourself and never putting any pegs in the ground.

It’s almost like a person who is never content with what they have and are always on the look out for better. Why can’t what you have or who you are now be better, and why can’t you just allow yourself to start from there and see what happens?
Well now I realise it’s because you don’t beleive in yourself, so you cannot bank on yourself and know that you are good enough to do whatever it is you come up with.

My lack of complete self belief was a result of my past. I have worked hard not to allow my past to dictate my now but clearly there was a part of me that was still subconsciously anchored to what I was and not who I am. I am certainly not my past but I have allowed this invisible string to keep me chained there along with all the fears that comes with it.

Realizing the importance of believing in myself and giving myself full permission to stand by my creations, my actions and trusting that they are a benefit to the rest of humanity has changed my life. This has allowed me to see what was missing all this time. There is no wrong way of doing something. And you cannot fail at being you!

Nothing is holding me or you back other than how much we are willing to believe in ourselves and know deep down that even our mistakes are worthy of life.

So if you find yourself not getting anywhere in life, you don’t know what you want, are unsure of your next step in life then know from today that it’s because you don’t truly believe in yourself. But it’s okay because just like me, you don’t or didn’t know any better however it doesn’t have to be that way anymore.

How do you believe in yourself?
You just have to make the decision that anything and everything you do is worthy. Don’t care what others think and just do it. Whatever you want to do just do it! You are a decision away from being free, you just have to decide!!

Perhaps my words will help you on your journey towards self belief, perhaps it will take something else. It doesn’t matter if you struggle to believe in you right now, just having the intention to want to believe in you will help you find your way in your own time.

Take a little step towards believing in you and it’ll change your life. Because without self belief nothing will get done.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT

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Sometimes we go through life on auto pilot when it comes to what we need to achieve or aquire that we forget how far we have come and what we have done.
We can easily beat ourselves up for not hitting all the goals on our list and don’t take time to look back and appreciate how dope we really are.

I am 100% that person and this post is more for me to remember to give myself more credit for the an amazing human being I am.

I tend not to count my eggs or take stock of what it is I actually do and have done. I am my harshest critic and I will judge myself before anyone can (not that I really care what strangers think). I am just a doer by nature and I tend to just look forward with my projects and never stop to pat myself on the back for all the hard work I have done.

People always remind me of how great I am doing but even though I appreciate it, for some reason it doesn’t gas me up to the point where I take it in they way some may do. I don’t want to change who I am but I can learn to stop and smell the roses a little bit more.

So don’t be too harsh on yourself and really take some time to look at yourself for the amazing person you are and give yourself some well earn credit.

It helped me to make a list of all the things I have achieved and I’ve decided to keep adding to that list and appreciate my achievements going forward.
This helps me to be loving and kind to myself.

Afterall if you can’t love and appreciate you the best way you need to then who Will?

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

ALLOW IT

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

The one thing most humans seek above all else is happiness. We will do anything just to be happy and for good reason too.

Happiness feels good no matter where it comes from or how long it lasts. We will take it anyway we can.

Happiness is best when you can create it yourself and maintain it yourself. I have spent the last 3/4 years learning how to make myself completely happy and I am grateful that I’ve finally been able to achieve this very difficult task.
I am now self sufficient and happy to do most things in life alone especially if I am not able to do it with like minded people.

I have gone from being dependent on others for my happiness to the opposite side of being able to have my back in that department.
I have to say though that I have purposely chosen not to allow anyone to be the reason I am happy. Because through my journey I learnt that it is unessesary, unsustainable and unreasonable to expect another person to be responsible for your happiness.

You have to take responsibility for making you happy and it’s something I suggest everyone should know how to do.

Ok so here I am minding my own business making myself happy and along comes someone who reminds me of sunshine.
Thier energy is so fresh and free spirited that you can’t help but be happy around them.
I do my best to make sure I stay in check with myself based on what I learnt and stand by, but it’s making me question whether you can make yourself happy and also allow someone else to make you happy at the same time.

I’ve since pondered and reflected on finding the balance and I realise that you should always learn to make yourself happy and have your own back. Equally you should also be able to allow someone else to make you happy without loosing your footing or completely rely on them for your happiness.

For good things to come into your life, you must allow them in. You must believe you deserve it in your life, you must try to shift your perspective to seeing the possibilities that lay ahead should you become open to what you deserve.

Sometimes life beats us into who we need to become and teaches us what we need to learn in ways that may be unpleasant. But as I have said in some of my previous blogs life isn’t about constant happiness, it’s about experiencing all things, good or bad.
Through some of the bad we grow in leaps and bounds and become better versions of ourselves.

This process can sometimes leave you building walls to ensure you are less vulnerable. But those same walls can also keep out the good stuff.

You really have to be open to all life experiences and trust that it’ll all work out in the end, it has always done and that isn’t going to stop.

Not allowing some goodness in your life because of fear is not living. It’s personal persecution and won’t end well for you in the long run.

If any situation is meant to be a hard lesson despite you wishing it could be a happy one then that’s what it’ll be. But you’ll make it through and you’ll become better for it in one way or another.

Don’t ever stop being optimistic or grateful about all experiences.
Allow yourself to be completely present in all situations and be open to the gift that will come from them.

You came into this world alone and will leave alone but it doesn’t mean you have to experience it alone.

Allow it all.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

THE JOURNEY IS THE EXPERIENCE!

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I am sure we all know the quote, “the journey is the destination” and that you have to focus on the end goal in order to make it etc. 

And yes it makes perfect sense to have a destination in mind when embarking on any journey, but the whole process shouldn’t be dismissed.

Most people are heavily focused on making it to the end that the parts in between are usually wished away, but there is so much to enjoy about the in between.

If we are too busy focusing on the end we forget to really get into the now.
Most of the time you get to the end and wish you could go back and enjoy the process. The amount of times I have heard people say this is countless.

I used to be the person who never really enjoyed the moment and I was always looking ahead for the next thing. When I look back it was exhausting, I was disconnected from my real wants and needs. Being in that head space was unnecessary lol!

I learnt how to slow down and listen to myself, to pay attention to the little things and enjoy them all. I cannot tell you the copious amounts of gifts that are in front of you if you stop and paid attention to them in order receive them.
You can with conscious effort choose to be present and try to enjoy it all.

The journey isn’t the destination but rather the experience. The experience is life, so enjoy it and don’t rush it through.

Let’s Make the world a better place by being the best you always!

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo
 

WATCH YOUR WORDS

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Words are one of the most amazing things we have in this world. To be able to express your thoughts, ideas, feelings, wants, needs, frustrations etc. to other people is amazing.

Words can lift you up and make you feel like you’re flying up high in the clouds and in turn can cut you down like you’re insignificant, if you let them!

I recently received some feedback on one of my projects from someone and I love getting feedback because it helps me tweak what I am doing and allows me to be open to improvements and new ideas.
Now what was terribly wrong with this feedback was the words used. They were not nice at all and left me feeling a little lost for words (who me? hahaha).

I had two choices, I could have lashed back and told the person off for being mean and in turn judge them for thier negative approach or I could realise that thier approach and words are more a reflection of them rather than a dig at me.

Through life experiences I have learnt how to become emphatic and understanding towards people who don’t know any better!
It’s so easy to use more mean words towards anyone who wants to be unkind but I think there is so much mileage in keeping calm, not internalizing any B.S. and seeing that the problem lays with the person dishing rather than with you.

You have the power to choose how you react! You choose how much power is given to rotten words. How you react will determine whether you are hurt or not. You have complete control.

Words only mean something based on how we interpreted them. Take full responsibility for your reaction to someone’s B.S. and don’t allow anyone who isn’t being constructive, supportive or kind to impact your day or your life. It’s not worth it at all.
There are so many people out there who will support you and those are the kinds of people you should surround yourself with and give your energy to.

You matter more than someone’s opinion and you can choose the high road always!

Also remember when giving someone feedback, that it comes from a place of love and kindness not from fear or anger.

Let’s Make the world a better place by being the best you always!

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo

AT SOME POINT, YOU NEED TO SHOW UP FOR YOU!

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Two weeks ago I was supposed to start my healthy diet and go to the gym at least 5 times a week.
I wanted to look and feel great before the end of the year, be in a great place for 2018 and be on track to hit my fitness goals by 3rd of April which is my birthday.

But, it has not panned out that way and I have allowed myself to be distracted by various things that are really not important, and I have made excuses as to why I couldn’t or can’t comit to my dream!

At some point in our lives we need to really show up for ourselves and do what is really right for us. There is only so much chasing your tail and expecting different results that can take place before you wake the fuck up.
At some point you really really have to choose you, period! No excuses, no choosing others! Just you!

So here I am writing about my failure to comit to what my soul wishes for my life  (I say soul because she always knows what’s best for me if only I listen lol) but what am I going to do about it?

There are just over 7 weeks left till the end of the year and I’ve decided that my wish to hit my fitness goal is far too important for my lack of commitment and I plan to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

I think in order to succeed you need to work out what you need to make it happen. In my case even though I hate planning I believe that by planning ahead and getting all the things I need in place it’ll help me succeed.
Things like fruit and veg for my morning juicing should be available the day before, preparing healthy lunches and dinners ahead of being hungry. Even making time in my morning for mediating on my fitness goals. I need to make sure I take this as seriously as I do when it comes to taking care of my kids.
I need to ensure I realise how important I am to myself and what it’ll mean to hit my goals.

I have read so many books on how to manifest your life or how you can make your wishes fulfilled with the power of your mind. They all use imagination and visualisation and belief to “manifest”.
I want to apply these same methods to something I am working for physically. So combing the mental and physical I think it’ll make a difference for me.
I want to visualise what I will eat all day, what excersie I will do each day and feel it all before I actually get out of bed. I want to connect with my mission before I do it. And it’ll only take me 5 to 10 mins which is nothing in 24 hrs.

This is just my way and what I need to really make this happen. I know myself and I know my pitfalls so I think doing it this way will help me succeed more.

Why am I all of a sudden ready to do this? Well I’ve just had enough of making excuses and I know full well that my life will never change for the better if I can’t show up for myself in ways that really matter to my true self.

I know I’ll keep making the same old mistakes if I don’t show up for myself and stand by me.
I know don’t want to hit 3rd of April and not have made any significant progress, I am sure it’ll destroy me mentally.

I need this and I want this so I’m doing this.

This goes to show that when you are ready for something you will make it happen so if you’re not able to find motivation to get up, know that after some serious chasing of tail, you’ll eventually get tired and take action.

Show up for yourself because you are worth it.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

Gratitude! Instant Prozac!!

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

Sometimes us human beings can be so lost in all the things we don’t have we forget all the amazing things we do have.
We can be so self centred and selfish!
I for one have to put my hands up for being ungrateful at times when I have so much  going for me, but when I do catch myself not being grateful I will stop and change it.

Yesterday I woke up from a sleepless night so I was a little out of sorts. I was extremely busy all day and my mind was not centred or at rest. I did manage to have a productive day and I even purchased and collected a new car. I was also able to play with the kids and cook them a really nice and hearty dinner.

Despite all that I didn’t have gratitude in my heart and I allowed my problems  (not really problems lol) to take over my whole body.
I frowned, I was agitated and my body felt like a wet peice of clothing that has just had the water wrung out of it. I felt twisted inside and all over. All because I allowed my thoughts to run wild and free with negativity. So unnecessary!

But feeling like this is standard and normal and happens to billions of people all the time. It used to be my permanent state years ago, before I discovered that I was not my thoughts and woke up to my higher self.
So first of all its okay to feel like this and it’s okay that you may not have gratitude in your heart when you have so much to be thankful for. I know it’s hard to sometimes snap out of feeling sorry for yourself and easy to buy into negative thoughts. It’s almost like you’re on auto pilot, I get it.

But this isn’t a great place to live, it isn’t good for your heart and soul. And I am sure if you felt you had a choice you would choose differently.
The thing is you do have a choice! At any given moment in your existence you can choose to feel a different emotion if you allow yourself to acknowledge that and basically choose.
You have that power! You have always had that power.

So last night as I was busy catching up with work still feeling wrung out, totally disliking how I was feeling then the discomfort pushed me to find a solution. 
I remembered what I needed to do and I decided to first of all listen to what my feelings were telling me. I acknowledged them and paid attention to them. I imagined showering them with love inside my gut. I gave them space to exist.

By doing so I worked out what the issue was and I was able to feed myself some understanding.
I then proceeded to write my feelings down which helped me massively.
I was able to get all those twisted feelings out of my head and I was able through writing to give myself advice and peace.

I then decided to make a list of everything I was grateful for. The thought of my car made me smile so hard and it changed how I was feeling. From that thought many other thoughts of things and people I was grateful for flooded into my head and I kept smiling and felt really great. It was certainly a huge difference to what I was carrying around with me earlier.

The power of gratitude can dissolve any bad feeling you may have. No matter how bad things are you can always find something to be grateful for. But sometimes we like to complain and feed the emptiness we feel inside because afterall that is also an emotion and it does allow you to feel something. However that something is not nice and not productive.

When you are tired of being “childish” and ungrateful you can change it in an instant if you allow it by using the power of choice and gratitude.

Also by not fighting myself on how I should be feeling but instead allowing it some space to exist and reveal itself inside me, I was able to learn from the whole experience and grow closer to my true self.

So no matter what’s going on use gratitude to change how you feel. It’s an instant Prozac!!

And learn to practice being grateful even when things are going great so that it becomes a habit. Most people keep a gratitude journal so why not try it or something similar.

Much love 🦋❤

Sarah Martin 

Being Sure About Yourself 

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

I was scrolling through instagtam and saw a video of an oreo keebab being dipped in some chocolate sauce and I remembered this one time maybe two years ago when I would have reposted that video with the caption #Mood.
I then realised how far removed that was from who I am and how far I have come in my self discovery journey.
It made me feel grateful that I am far more self assured than I ever was and look forward to being more me 🙂

It made me think about how being self assured isn’t something that just happens like that or by will.
It takes time and trials and errors to discover who you really are, to find your true voice and to be completely your authentic self.

How therefore does someone go about being self assured?

There isn’t an easy way however if you can try to stop following the masses and spend time discovering what you really like and dislike, that may help you.

It’s easy to follow the crowd and that’s not a bad thing contrary to popular belief. It’s what you know now and eventually as time passes you get to know who you really are.
There are many reasons why we don’t become instantly self assured from when we can make our own decisions in life.
But think about it most of your life choices from birth to probably 18/20 was decided or influenced by your parents or family or care givers.
By the time you are old enough to get on with it, you’ll be making decisions based on your care givers code for life. If you are lucky they fall in line with who you are and if not, you get the joy of discovering who you are.
Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes not.

So don’t be hard on yourself, just be as much you as you can and find things you truly love and that make your heart flutter with joy.
Keep doing those and work on being a better version of you via reading books or some form of therapy.
Continuously feeding your mind with new information and experiences helps you to know what you don’t want so you can figure out what you do want.

I guess what I am trying to say is time and life will help you with this, if you can be brave enough to trust your journey.

A time will come when you will feel so proud of your choices and decision.

Being self assured is great and allows you to trust yourself.

Definitely something worth working towards.

Much love

Sarah Martin xoxo 

Is what you are doing today getting you closer to what you want tomorrow?

Posted on by sarahmartinshe

This is one of those so called motivational blurb they like to throw at anyone who isn’t moving forward at a pace that is acceptable by society’s standards.

Well let’s examine it shall we!

I know that people can live a self fulfilling profecy of self sabotage and go round and round in circles, and never really getting anywhere. First of all anywhere is somwhere, you are flowing with time and that alone is you moving forward.
You may not be hitting goals that have nothing to do with your true purpose or who you really are but that’s a good thing! Who wants to fight for something they don’t really want!

There is something to be gained from
procrastination and self sabotage, and because this kind of behaviour is seen as destructive the gift that can come from it is usually missed. And instead we spend copious amounts of time beating ourselves up for not being like those who preach!

We human beings have this notion that everything in life should be perfect, nothing should ever hurt or break and we should be happy all the time. That isn’t what life is about.
That is the problem, we have a dysfunctional view of what life should be like. This comes from the people making money off your delusion. It’s not your fault. Selling instant happiness is a big money maker.

Nature actually tells us the truth about what life should be like, but we are so far removed and out of tune to see it. 

Instead we have TV and social media to tell us what to expect lol!
Look at the environment you live in, think about cloudy and rainy days and the benefits they offer.
If we wanted hot sunny days aka happiness all the time then there would never be any rain and nothing would ever grow. The planet would die! See my point about life?

The bad things are needed for growth, actually they are essential. Once we understand that and accept it as much as we accept that the world spins round the sun we can begin to look at life differently and for what it is.

Sometimes you actually need to be self destructive because you’ve picked up awful habits that no longer serve you which needs to be expelled. 
An example of the benefits of self sabotage is someone who doesn’t love themsleves and gets into a relationship only to bring all that baggage with them expecting sunny results. If they remain the self loathing person they are, they don’t grow in themselves to shed the bad habits and cannot move forward in life so they becomes miserable while dragging everyone else down with them. 
Because of their self sabotaging behaviour they do what comes naturally and somehow fuck it all up and end up alone or rejected.

The pain of rejection allows them to ask the question why can’t I be loved? Why doesn’t anyone want me or keep me or or or.
Self reflection kicks in and if they are lucky on that very occasion they learn that they are enough, they need to love themsleves in order to recognise and give healthy love.

Each experiences which ends in pain helps to crack open the shell of the ego you’ve buried your soul under. As you learn and grow, the lessons change and you become more you 🙂

There is no perfect scenario in life and beating yourself up or judging yourself for not doing the things you need today in order to serve your future self is pointless.
You will do what is necessary for you today based on the tools you have at your disposal today!

So let the people who have it figured out say what they want about not being motivated or not moving forward. They don’t see the beauty of your journey and they don’t need to, that’s the point! This is your journey and no one else’s. 

So next time you feel like beating yourself up don’t! Instead find meaning and understanding in where you are right now and just do what feels right.

Funny enough life has a funny way of motivating you in the direction you need to go in. Trust that!

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo