HOW TO MAKE HEALTHY DECISIONS 

Oh the many many times we have all made stupid decisions we wished we could go back in time to correct.
From the little ones to major decisions we have all been there!

I have spent some time in the past going over some of my actions and decisions trying to work out what formula I could use to ensure I make better decisions in future.

I have looked at all the “bad” decisions I made and I realised that those bad ones were always from a place of lack or fear. All the ones that I deemed as good and healthy ones were from a place of love.

Using these two headlines as the basis of my decision making has helped me make better decisions and choices.

When you are in lack, feel like you are not enough or are in fear or shame you tend to make desperate and bad decisions.
Noticing it and making note of this can really help you make healthy love based decisions.

Think back to some of your bad decisions and try to remember how you were feeling. Were you anxious? Felt like you were loosing out or felt you were not enough or angry? Well those feelings of lack push you to make bad decisions if you give into them.
Now do the same thing with good decisions. You’ll find you were happy, centred, and held on to your moral code. You felt safe and was able to make a very healthy and good decision.

So going forward how do you make good and healthy decisions?

Well ask yourself this question!
What am I feeling? If you feel desperate, scared, not enough or ashamed or angry then it’s likely you will be driving your decision from a place of fear, and you’ll end up making an unhealthy decision.

If you feel love for yourself, you feel like you are worthy, enough and believe in you, then this state will drive a healthy and good decision.

It’s about really weighing up the way you feel before making that decision. If it sits in the fear category and will be driven from a place of lack then just take some time out to balance yourself back to feeling love or completeness before proceeding.

Balancing yourself means taking time to realise that you are enough. You really are more than enough and have nothing to prove to anyone. You will therefore not allow any negative emotion to drive your next step.

Yes I know it is not easy but life isn’t easy and we all have hard decisions to make at every turn. But you have the power to take full conscious responsibility for your actions and in turn feel great about them.

I do have to say that even though it is very important to make healthy and good decisions where you can there really isn’t a wrong way to do life, therefore even when we make bad decisions good does come from it. I’ll touch on this more in my book  (coming out soon).

So for now do your best to do good by you and if you are stuck on making any decision use my formula and see if it helps.

I wish you a great life and one driven from a place of love rather than fear.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

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HOW TO CHOOSE HAPPINESS 

​I still vividly rememeber the day I realised that I could choose a happy state whenever I wanted to. Even when everything is making it difficult, I could still choose.

Let me take you back to that day.
It was about a year ago now, I was in the swimming pool showers and I got some not so great news which really got me down.
I was finding it hard to concentrate, to stay present or connected to the people around me. I felt tormented that very moment.

I remember being so frustrated that I was so sad, I hated it and wanted it to change.
I wanted to feel anything but deep sorrow.

As I stood there with the hot shower pouring down my head (which was nice), I remembered that I am not my thoughts, that I am bigger than what I was feeling and it hit me BAM!!!!!

I said to myself I choose happiness,
I. CHOOSE. HAPPINESS.
As I said it over and over I was realising the true power and meaning of those three words.

I was so present and felt every single word so deeply that I understood what it meant.
I realised that despite everything that was going on I can choose how I feel if I really really wanted to.
I have that power and I can choose.

Within minutes after repeating the 3 words over and over again I felt better. My mind shifted from the problems that I could do nothing about and into the now.
I chose me, I chose how I wanted to feel and I held onto that.

Now I know full well that it is easier said than done and if someone had told me to choose happiness over attaching myself to whatever was bothering me, I would have said I can’t so leave me alone.
When you use the words I can’t do it, this is also a choice. It’s probably the easier choice because you’re already in the space you don’t want to be in.

Ever see a kid cry or scream I can’t over and over again when you know they are more than capable of doing something you know they can do? That in simple terms is what it’s like when you say I can’t. Of course you can, you just have to choose to.
Trust me I know full well that it is easier to wallow in all your issues or to allow them to become you but once you make the choice to feel different you’ll wonder why you didn’t choose differently sooner. But there are gold nuggets to be claimed from what we call negative states like sadness but that’s for another day, so don’t beat yourself up either.

The thing is I fully understand why we become our problems and it really takes some extreme realisations to wake up to yourself and realise that you really are bigger than any problem in life. It helps to understand this so that it can become easier for you.

I highly recommend that you read a book by Ekhart Tolle called The Power Of Now.
This book change my whole life and I will do a blog post on it another time. For now please buy it either in hard copy or audio and absorb it thoroughly. It’ll really make you see that you are not your thoughts.

Understanding that you are not your thoughts changes EVERYTHING!

Now I have to say that when I am close to or on my period, my emotions can be all over the place. It is insane how I can be perfectly fine most of the month and for a week it’s just madness.
This time is where I can struggle most with negative emotions or things can get too much for me. But exercising the power of choice whenever I feel off has been a life saver, so I really get to practice this a lot each month hahaha! 

It means being present, connected to who you are, taking time out to meditate and centre yourself and choosing how you feel.

I refuse to allow my brain to over dramatize things to the point I can’t function or just get on with my day. Hell no!!!

I. Choose. Happiness. These 3 words when realised can change your whole life. So try it and see.

If you have any questions about it feel free to message me ❤

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

FROM CHAOS TO CALMNESS 

You are sitting in the middle of a 5 lane motorway. All the cars are traveling at over 100 miles per hour.

It starts to rain heavily and each drop is as large as a penny. You feel it beating down on you, banging hard against your head, your shoulders and your back.
You try to get up but your legs are weak, cold and sore.
Then the noise of the cars beeping thier horns at you to get the hell out of the way gets louder and louder.
You try hard to hold your hands to your ears but the noise is just too deafening.

This is what it feels like when I am not centred lol, when I allow all the nonsense around me to become real. The traffic, rain, noise and cold has always been in my life. The earliest I can remember it was age 5!
I used to only get short periods of sunny days in the middle of this 5 lane highway and just as I start to stand up the rain will start again, and I’ll take a seat and hope it stops.
Relentless chaos at every given turn, some caused by me and others brought on by life.

Yet I keep on going, I found ways to keep myself centred. I look for the silver lining in everything and after some time of getting lost in it all I will find a way to harness some peace within. I want my sunny days to be longer than the rainy ones!

Why am I writing this post? Because up until 7pm last night I was at this place.
I was laying on my bed while it started to piss me off lol so decided to use this powerful tool I invented for myself so I can find my centre again.

So I closed my eyes and I just focused all my attention and energy on myself. I allowed whatever thoughts that popped into my head to come and go without judgement.
I imagined this rainbow coloured light from the universe beaming down into my chest and filling me up with completeness and wholeness.
I started to feel whole and like nothing was out of place. I started to feel rooted to the earth and the heavens. I felt my centre and I held on to it. I allowed it to expand inside me as I continued to breathe it all in.
I carried on until I was full, full of me, full of love and full of life.

We tend to feel chaotic when we have way too much going on and no outlet.
Once you have managed to centre yourself, it helps to write down anything that is on your mind. Get it out of your head and on paper or on my case my notes app on my phone lol 🙂
Once you get it all out you can then prioritise what you have to do and make a plan on how you will do it all.

Some things may be more of an emotional thing, or sadness. Whatever the emotion again write it down. This really helps to put things into perspective. If it becomes too much go and see your doctor and talk to them about it. They will most likely try to give you pills to pop but try not to suppress what is going on without any form of therapy. I suggest insisting they offer you CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) or counselling. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help or speak out about what it going on. You have nothing to loose and all to gain.

So after I filled myself up with calming universal light, I then decided to write this post to help anyone who may need it when they feel ovehwlemed. 

I realised that these days I don’t spend enough time with my eyes closed so I can centre myself and feel whole or complete.
This kind of meditation is a powerful tool and one I will make sure I use everyday.
I highly recommend you try it even when you don’t need it, it helps you practice for the times you may need it.

It is also important that you work on being honest with yourself and people you meet about how you are feeling.
The kind of depth and connection you’ll get from this world will be so profound it’ll give you the peace you need. It’ll also make you fearless 🙂

With the mediation you can literally create it to suit you! You can choose where to lay or sit, what the colour of the light that beams in from the universe looks like, how long it stays etc.
You can also imagine absorbing certain feelings like love or happiness or whatever. Just feel it filling you up from your scalp all the way down to your toes. You are the creator and you can do whatever you wish so try it and see what you create:)

The most important thing I want you to take from this blog post is that, we all have days we don’t feel centred, we loose our footing, it can become overwhelming and you can find yourself disengaged and wearing the deepest frown just to contain yourself. But it doesn’t have to be like that and you can calm it all down and find peace when you need it.

I also want you to know that there is nothing wrong with feeling off kilter and in fact some of the best ideas or innovations come from this state so don’t beat yourself up, just don’t become the emotion completely.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

FROM ANXIETY TO FEARLESSNESS 

We have all been in that place! You know the one where it feels like you just want to hide away from the world and tuck yourself under your bed in the tightest bundle you can pull together.
And while you try to hold yourself together it feels like your stomach is like freshly made jelly that hasn’t been set yet and has a constant pouring of warm water just to keep everything all over the place.

There is no feeling like anxiety laced with this fear you don’t even understand or can pin point. But oh you feel it so well and it knows you so well.

A constant state of anxiety used to be my bread and butter in terms of emotions. I used to wake up with an impending sense of doom and uncertainty and go to sleep with its arms wrapped around me like the father I always needed. I never knew why but I understand it better now  (that is for another day).

These days I wake up free and I feel more solid in myself but there are times when things will happen or I have to put my feelings out there and become vulnerable that the jelly belly comes back with a nice jug of hot water.
Where I used to want to hide I have learnt how to allow it space within me to exist and for it to teach me or give me some wisdom. I don’t run from it and I don’t disrespect it by wishing it away. I embrace it and it eventually does what it came to me for and leaves me with strengt I needed to be more fearless.

Everyone has the ability to be fearless and I started to think about what it meant for me.
There are situations where I will be so fearless it leaves people wishing they were as fearless as I am but there are some that make me feel like a 4 year old.

I realised following on from my blog post about self belief yesterday that in order to become fearless you must believe in yourself.
It seems self belief is becoming my newly appointed guardian and I am loving how much it touches every part of our lives.

Anxiety is a natural emotion and there will always be situations that will leave you feeling a little off but believing in yourself, respecting your emotions and standing by your existence will produce fearlessness in your being to trust yourself to march forward.

Understanding it, embracing it, listening to it and using whatever you learn from it makes you more fearless and more you.

No one can hold you back. No one can shut you up. No one can dictate your worth. No one can make you feel anything less than you desire. You choose, so choose you with warts, anxiety, fears and all and allow it all to make you into the beast of a person you know you are.

It’s all up to you. Don’t run from yourself, you are already fearless, you just have to see it.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

WHY YOU SHOULD BELIEVE IN YOU!

Omg I had a wow moment today!
I realised today that despite all the gifts that God has given me I don’t actually fully 100% believe in myself like I need to.
I thought I did but not until some recent events made me question why, who, what and where when it came to my goals.

This isn’t something easy to admit but it’s the truth, I am happy to explore it and sort it out once and for all.

Just the realization that I don’t really believe in myself when it really counts, when I need to shine, when I need to claim my power or when I need to be unapologetically me has changed my life. My mind as expanded to really explore the fundamental need to believe in myself.

I always thought that the reason I didn’t really succeed in being the person I know I am destined to be was because I didn’t know what I wanted. I felt that the key to success is knowing what you want. Now don’t get me wrong it is vital that you know what you want but now I realise that this comes after self belief. 

If you don’t believe in yourself in an obnoxious way then how can you trust yourself to figure out what you want? Because everything you may think you want you’ll end up doubting and you’ll over think it and not stand by you!
 
Believing in yourself allows you to come up with an idea and run with it without over questioning yourself or thinking that perhaps you need to do more in order for it to be banging! You’ll end up like me forever chasing yourself and never putting any pegs in the ground.

It’s almost like a person who is never content with what they have and are always on the look out for better. Why can’t what you have or who you are now be better, and why can’t you just allow yourself to start from there and see what happens?
Well now I realise it’s because you don’t beleive in yourself, so you cannot bank on yourself and know that you are good enough to do whatever it is you come up with.

My lack of complete self belief was a result of my past. I have worked hard not to allow my past to dictate my now but clearly there was a part of me that was still subconsciously anchored to what I was and not who I am. I am certainly not my past but I have allowed this invisible string to keep me chained there along with all the fears that comes with it.

Realizing the importance of believing in myself and giving myself full permission to stand by my creations, my actions and trusting that they are a benefit to the rest of humanity has changed my life. This has allowed me to see what was missing all this time. There is no wrong way of doing something. And you cannot fail at being you!

Nothing is holding me or you back other than how much we are willing to believe in ourselves and know deep down that even our mistakes are worthy of life.

So if you find yourself not getting anywhere in life, you don’t know what you want, are unsure of your next step in life then know from today that it’s because you don’t truly believe in yourself. But it’s okay because just like me, you don’t or didn’t know any better however it doesn’t have to be that way anymore.

How do you believe in yourself?
You just have to make the decision that anything and everything you do is worthy. Don’t care what others think and just do it. Whatever you want to do just do it! You are a decision away from being free, you just have to decide!!

Perhaps my words will help you on your journey towards self belief, perhaps it will take something else. It doesn’t matter if you struggle to believe in you right now, just having the intention to want to believe in you will help you find your way in your own time.

Take a little step towards believing in you and it’ll change your life. Because without self belief nothing will get done.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT


Sometimes we go through life on auto pilot when it comes to what we need to achieve or aquire that we forget how far we have come and what we have done.
We can easily beat ourselves up for not hitting all the goals on our list and don’t take time to look back and appreciate how dope we really are.

I am 100% that person and this post is more for me to remember to give myself more credit for the an amazing human being I am.

I tend not to count my eggs or take stock of what it is I actually do and have done. I am my harshest critic and I will judge myself before anyone can (not that I really care what strangers think). I am just a doer by nature and I tend to just look forward with my projects and never stop to pat myself on the back for all the hard work I have done.

People always remind me of how great I am doing but even though I appreciate it, for some reason it doesn’t gas me up to the point where I take it in they way some may do. I don’t want to change who I am but I can learn to stop and smell the roses a little bit more.

So don’t be too harsh on yourself and really take some time to look at yourself for the amazing person you are and give yourself some well earn credit.

It helped me to make a list of all the things I have achieved and I’ve decided to keep adding to that list and appreciate my achievements going forward.
This helps me to be loving and kind to myself.

Afterall if you can’t love and appreciate you the best way you need to then who Will?

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo 

ALLOW IT

The one thing most humans seek above all else is happiness. We will do anything just to be happy and for good reason too.

Happiness feels good no matter where it comes from or how long it lasts. We will take it anyway we can.

Happiness is best when you can create it yourself and maintain it yourself. I have spent the last 3/4 years learning how to make myself completely happy and I am grateful that I’ve finally been able to achieve this very difficult task.
I am now self sufficient and happy to do most things in life alone especially if I am not able to do it with like minded people.

I have gone from being dependent on others for my happiness to the opposite side of being able to have my back in that department.
I have to say though that I have purposely chosen not to allow anyone to be the reason I am happy. Because through my journey I learnt that it is unessesary, unsustainable and unreasonable to expect another person to be responsible for your happiness.

You have to take responsibility for making you happy and it’s something I suggest everyone should know how to do.

Ok so here I am minding my own business making myself happy and along comes someone who reminds me of sunshine.
Thier energy is so fresh and free spirited that you can’t help but be happy around them.
I do my best to make sure I stay in check with myself based on what I learnt and stand by, but it’s making me question whether you can make yourself happy and also allow someone else to make you happy at the same time.

I’ve since pondered and reflected on finding the balance and I realise that you should always learn to make yourself happy and have your own back. Equally you should also be able to allow someone else to make you happy without loosing your footing or completely rely on them for your happiness.

For good things to come into your life, you must allow them in. You must believe you deserve it in your life, you must try to shift your perspective to seeing the possibilities that lay ahead should you become open to what you deserve.

Sometimes life beats us into who we need to become and teaches us what we need to learn in ways that may be unpleasant. But as I have said in some of my previous blogs life isn’t about constant happiness, it’s about experiencing all things, good or bad.
Through some of the bad we grow in leaps and bounds and become better versions of ourselves.

This process can sometimes leave you building walls to ensure you are less vulnerable. But those same walls can also keep out the good stuff.

You really have to be open to all life experiences and trust that it’ll all work out in the end, it has always done and that isn’t going to stop.

Not allowing some goodness in your life because of fear is not living. It’s personal persecution and won’t end well for you in the long run.

If any situation is meant to be a hard lesson despite you wishing it could be a happy one then that’s what it’ll be. But you’ll make it through and you’ll become better for it in one way or another.

Don’t ever stop being optimistic or grateful about all experiences.
Allow yourself to be completely present in all situations and be open to the gift that will come from them.

You came into this world alone and will leave alone but it doesn’t mean you have to experience it alone.

Allow it all.

Much love Sarah Martin xoxo